Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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