You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
