CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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