I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
