I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
