I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize