First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
