Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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