I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
