Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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