My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
