She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
