i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're like the curious george of whores
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
