I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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