There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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