you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
