Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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