Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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