The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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