Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
