I think my fart just growled at me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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