I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
