I wish my penis had an off switch
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
