i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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