I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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