I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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