I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
