i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
