all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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