$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
