I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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