started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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