im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
