you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
