So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
