our cab driver is having phone sex.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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