Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize