so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
This is my gift to your gina
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
