sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
