she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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