dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
