Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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