So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize