we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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