oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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