i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
