My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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