Fuck appropriateness.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
