so that wasnt chicken after all
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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