Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize