No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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