Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
