Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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