You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
