So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
